We have seen a lot of examples of how our MLS is full of misspelled words and oddly chosen adjectives. Now it’s time to move on to misplaced phrases – phrases that may leave you gasping or guffawing:
A Home You Can’t Refuse
“All wall damage repaired, butt cracks on surface.” (Bummer.)
“Light filled home with strategically located mirrors.” (Decorated by Hugh Hefner, no doubt.)
“Bathroom has His and His sinks.” (And matching urinals, I suppose…)
“Sit and enjoy the kitchen fire while Mom cooks.” (Mom attended the Gwen Banta School of Flash Cooking.)
“Bathroom has new sunken tub and toilet.” (A new angle for the dangle.)
“Yard with kennel and sandbox for the kiddies.” (When a babysitter just won’t do…)
“New addition with bedroom with French doors and pig roaster.” (For those who have an avid interest in porking. )
“Kitchen with Spanish influences and un-permitted large maids quartered.” (Influenced by the Spanish Inquisition it seems.)
“Lovely home with new baths with EZ freeway Access.” (Pee and Flee.)
I Love Paris in the Spring time
“Cute home near elementary school with outdoor spa and Tiki bar.” (Welcome to Paris Hilton Elementary School.)
“Relax in the swirling spa and toilets.” (When a bidet just won’t do…)
“New irrigation system and water slide installed.” (A clever way to divert the squirt.)
“Beautiful home with secluded privates and gated.” (I believe that’s called a chastity belt.)
“Large yard a Pool with a waterfall and a new septic system.” (Beware the Baby Ruth floating in the deep end…)
“Foyer with faux walls.” (Agent who drinks and has visions.)
“House on lake has flowing rooms.” (Row, Row, Row Your boat…)
“Gourmet kitchen with breakfast bar, Vikings and Caesar. (When one conqueror just won’t do…)
And My Fave:
“Bathrooms have new vanities and toilets. Seller has already gone – very motivated.” (Apparently he moved…and then he moved.)
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For the bathroom with the “his and his” sinks: matching urinals
Too funny, but sad all at the same time because we have all seen stuff like this.
Donna, I think people tend to add phrases as they write without re-reading them. The juxtapositions can be hilarious. “Balloon Mania – When you’re high you no longer feel low.”
Wow Gwen – got funnier the SECOND time I read it! (I’ll keep that as our “inside” joke).
Was it the lake house with flowing rooms that also had the sunken tub and toilet? Or was that the one with the septic pool?
Navy Chief, Navy Pride
Joe – I am honored to hear from the new Asst. Team Leader at KW. Hell, I couldn’t lead a group of octogenarians to Bingo. In answer to your question, I think it was the house with the new irrigation system that had sunken and flowing features. In fact, I think I own that property… Have a great week – G
Hello to Beautiful Puget Sound!
Thanks for the great post…keep ‘em coming!
“Beautiful home with secluded privates and gated.” (I believe that’s called a chastity belt.)
’nuff said.
Great stuff…! Love the posts!
My favorite from around here was from a few years ago. “totally updated house but not really.” I never understood exactly what it was supposed to mean. I never made it over to view the place but always wished I had taken the time.
O.K. all i want to know is who’s grabbin’ a drink out of THAT cooler? YIKES! That’s one way to protect a twelve pack! Almost couldn’t scroll down to read the Disc funnies!
Adding to the humor- Agent notes the individuals obvious dedication to turning a corner on his health by selecting Bud “Light”.
Thanks for the giggles- Heidi Marsh
Thanks, Patrick, Rob and John. Rob, I think the gated privates went out with the corset…unless you were raised by MY dad!
Steven, you should have called to say you had a buyer…”but not really.” WTH?
Great commentary on the photo, Heidi. And what in God’s name is that mark on his butt cheek? Dear God, please tell me it isn’t a hickey!