Although we have already visited this topic, friends, it just keeps getting better. The MLS, and local ads in The L.A. Times, are still full of creative spelling that taxes the imagination…and often sends me into fits of hysteria. Here are a few to start out your holiday weekend with a bong…uh, “bang”:
Behold the Brain Dead:
Jane Eyre cook top (For literary chefs: Read ‘n’ Feed)
Pornable kitchen island (In case the bedroom gets boring)
Includes Art Stud (Art, my number is 1-800-CALLNOW)
Hand maid – built well (Call Gretchen for a good time.)
Bakers wrack (Kitchen of King Henry XIII, no doubt.)
Maids with bedroom excess (Apparently the pornable kitchen islands aren’t enough for the little wenches.)
Newly laid stoned pat (Just say no, Pat.)
What a Difference a Letter Makes!
Alarmed, secure, privates (Complete with sprinkler, it seems.)
Orffice off bedroom (Too easy – let’s not go there!)
Owner taking owen (Fine – take Owen, but leave Art.)
Murphy in bedroom stays (Murphy’s wife and her lover, Owen, taking pornable kitchen island)
Hand rubbed Flor (She must know Art.)
Situated in a convent location (Confessions given in lieu of disclosures?)
Call re escrow & tit info (They’ll keep you abreast.)
Tongue in Groove floors (That’s gotta hurt!)
The Grand Finale:
Waynescoat (America’s answer to London Fog)
Add’n done by decorator – expert in bedrooms (I’ll bet she designed the Orffice, too.)
Fung Sway in bedroom (Jackie Chan in getaway car.)
House with drop dead Views (Agent with killer instincts)
Gyn attached (Unless you’d prefer a proctologist)
Jetlime views (Agent on acid trip)
House near Point Doom (Property offered by Grim Reaper)
Great for horses with multiple tails (This agent is a horse’s a_ _.)
And My Favorites:
Kitchen with Vikings (Bedroom with Huns)
Security system with multiple defectors. (Made in China)
For more satire and humor in real estate, please visit : http://www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/. Have a great weekend!
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Gwen,
All excellent examples of the importance of correct spelling. One of my favorites from our local MLS is “kitchen has 2 panties”. No additional details on the size or color.
Gwen, you are sooooo funny! I love these lists – keep them coming, please, though I laugh so hard every time I may not survive the next one!!
OMG Gwen – thanks for a great post on my BIRTHDAY!
Saw this gem just last week:
“Privacy fence with dick in the back”
Obviously, thought of you when I saw it
.
Navy Chief, Navy Pride!
Thank GOD there is no spell/grammar check for comments and mls stuff, life would dim considerably. Fantabulous post. Thanks for the cheers.
Thanks, Jill – I have seen that mistake several times myself. And the word I see misspelled most often is: “separate.” I think we just make it up as we go – it’s spelling anarchy!
Who every thought the MLS could be better than the Sunday comics, John. Next up:”MLS, The Movie”…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOE!!! Perhaps “privacy fence with dick in back” is a euphemism for Fruit of the Looms…
Thank you, Ken. The sad part is that our MLS actually does have a spellcheck. But one must have an IQ above 60 to use it… Have a great weekend!
Blog-induced blushing…
(uh… Art said he called 1-800-CALLNOW and you dint answer…. back to The Blues Brothers…)
One of my favorite misspellings was:
souring cellings (for soaring ceilings)
Another one is clear story windows for clerestory windows.
Tell Art I was “on a mission from God” with Jake and Elwood and the band
MLS can hardly compare to Furniture industry in euphemisms. I was looking for a nearby furniture store phone number in Yellow pages and here I see:
Top entry – furniture store: Badcock
Entry below – woodworking place: Eagerbeaver
Gwen, thos are great! Nice Saturday morning laugh.
Our Atlanta area MLS has no spell check so we get all that entertainment as well.
Also, it has various shorcomings. I recently had a client that insisted on a upstairs laundry room. Here’s what our MLS says about laundry rooms:
LAUNDRY: Yes/No
LOL!
So helpful. So I have to call every listing agent and play phone tag forever, just to find out where the laundry is.
RM
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Crackin’ up, our MLS doesn’t have spell check either so I have fresh eyes look.
Thanks for your contribution, Leif. I something similar: clarastory windows. So who is Clara and what’s her story?
Sal – I can only conclude that Eager Beaver is married to Mr. Badcock.
Thanks for passing this along, Dan and Bridget – please enjoy.
Hi RM – One of my clients once saw a listing that said “Laundry area separate” and asked if that meant she would have to pay extra.
Send me anything you find, Missy. I just saw another this week: “mother-in-laws needs new plumbing.”
Gwen – yikes – RM
Hey Everyone – This just in: “Build your dream house next to the Hollywood Bowel” (A great location in case of evacuation
LOL!