BEHOLD THE MLS: CAN ANYBUDDY SPELL RITE?

Although we have already visited this topic, friends, it just keeps getting better. The MLS, and local ads in The L.A. Times,  are still full of creative spelling that taxes the imagination…and often sends me into fits of hysteria. Here are a few to start out your holiday weekend with a bong…uh, “bang”:

Behold the Brain Dead:

Jane Eyre cook top (For literary chefs: Read ‘n’ Feed)

Pornable kitchen island (In case the bedroom gets boring)

Includes Art Stud (Art, my number is 1-800-CALLNOW)

Hand maid – built well (Call Gretchen for a good time.)

Bakers wrack (Kitchen of King Henry XIII, no doubt.)

Maids with bedroom excess (Apparently the pornable kitchen islands aren’t enough for the little wenches.)

Newly laid stoned pat (Just say no, Pat.)

What a Difference a Letter Makes!

Alarmed, secure, privates (Complete with sprinkler, it seems.)

Orffice off bedroom (Too easy – let’s not go there!)

Owner taking owen (Fine – take Owen, but leave Art.)

Murphy in bedroom stays (Murphy’s wife and her lover, Owen, taking pornable kitchen island)

Hand rubbed Flor (She must know Art.)

Situated in a convent location (Confessions given in lieu of disclosures?)

Call re escrow & tit info (They’ll keep you abreast.)

Tongue in Groove floors (That’s gotta hurt!)

The Grand Finale:

Waynescoat (America’s answer to London Fog)

Add’n done by decorator – expert in bedrooms (I’ll bet she designed the Orffice, too.)

Fung Sway in bedroom (Jackie Chan in getaway car.)

House with drop dead Views (Agent with killer instincts)

Gyn attached (Unless you’d prefer a proctologist)

Jetlime views (Agent on acid trip)

House near Point Doom (Property offered by Grim Reaper)

Great for horses with multiple tails  (This agent is a horse’s a_ _.)

And My Favorites:

Kitchen with Vikings (Bedroom with Huns)

Security system with multiple defectors. (Made in China)